A better life through plants and animals?

So, a very interesting article crossed my path yesterday, and has subsequently become the inspiration for today's post.  The article discusses the launch of a new project in San Francisco in which homeless individuals are paired up with dogs in need of foster care.  In return for the basic training that the dogs will be provided, these individuals will be given a small stipend and a space in affordable/supportive housing.  While some may think this is an unnecessary use of money, or a silly idealistic fantasy better suited to a film script, I think it is genius.  I would even argue that this plan could teach all of us a thing or two.

It is all too common for a distraught client to sit across from me in my therapy office and describe intense feelings of boredom, dissatisfaction, loneliness, and depression.  Often, clients want to know how to "fix" these feelings.  It's as though they are asking, "What's the trick, here?" Sorry, everyone, there is no quick fix. Life is hard the whole way through.  But, there are ways to make this hard life really wonderful and worthwhile.  At one time or another, we all wonder "What is the point? What is the meaning of my being here?"  Some find answers through religion and spirituality, others find answers in a personal passion or specific cause - I am going to do something I almost never do, and oversimplify.  I believe the secret is connection.  Connection is our greatest defense against inevitable loneliness, sadness, meaninglessness, hurt.  We can connect with others through relationships, through our spirituality, our cause - but we can also connect with life through the natural world, through plants and animals.  Now here is where I assume I will lose a few of you - animals? plants? Really?

Yes. A plant will make your life better.  So will a dog (or cat, or fish, or ferret, whatever).

Today, in a highly technological world, despite the booming population we feel more disconnected than ever.  We have been separated from each other, and from the natural life that surrounds us.  So how do we reconnect with the abstract idea of "life"?  I offer up this idea: one way we can reconnect is by experiencing a relationship with a living thing, any living thing.  A small plant, while unobtrusive, requires patience, responsibility, and in return gives you purpose.  Ultimately, because you spent time and energy on this plant, you are connected to its life. You are connected as living, breathing things who have become intertwined.  Imagine how that experience might be amplified with an animal; a creature with a heartbeat, wanting to connect back.

Consider this.  In your day to day life, how often would you say you stop and attend to the well-being of another? (parents, you can disregard this question) What would that do to you?  Science tells us that caring for an animal can extend your life, decrease stress, and increase positive feelings about yourself.  Even the simple act of petting an animal slows your heart rate and breathing.  History tells us that human beings have always searched for a way to connect to things greater than ourselves.  The Earth, community, life energy, your god.  These are all attempts at the same thing: connection. Yet feeling connected in these ways can be a life-long journey.  A plant, a pet - these are ways for you to feel connected right now, in your real, everyday life.

Try it. Even if your situation isn't as dire as homelessness, spend some time really caring for a life other than your own.  You could find connection, purpose, joy - or at the very least, a little bit of company.

Meditation for Beginners

Five years ago, the word meditation would not have crossed my lips, not because I thought negatively of it, more that I felt it had nothing to do with me.  Meditation to me was a silent monk, sitting cross-legged on a mountaintop...surely he and I had nothing in common.  Certainly, he felt wonderful and contemplated great things - but I imagine he didn't have to make sure the dog was walked and the dishes cleaned before he raced out the door for work.  It wasn't until I began taking yoga that I was introduced to a much more approachable side of meditation, and felt the physical benefits that I now crave.  

One significant effect I have experienced both professionally and personally is in managing anxiety - a very common issue among anyone breathing today. So common, in fact, many would not even recognize that their level of anxiety might not be healthy. A racing heartbeat, muscle tension, excessive worry, and difficulty sleeping are all possible symptoms of anxiety (there are many, many more).  In therapy, a client and therapist can discuss a multitude of topics concerning anxiety, often getting to the root of the problem and, hopefully, coming to a resolution of the excessive worry.  But what many clients are looking for is help for the everyday symptoms in the meantime.  

The idea of meditation can be daunting.  Sitting perfectly still and clearing the mind for an extended period of time isn't exactly a natural state for people today.  Even I believed that meditating on my own was too difficult.  But then, I had an "a-ha" moment,  my very wise yoga teacher at Black Swan Yoga here in Austin said, "The simplest form of meditation is conscious breathing." Breathing!  Even I can do that!

But "conscious breathing" is very different from the mindless in-and-out breathing we do all day, so the question becomes how to "consciously breathe", really?  A very straightforward way to conscious breathing is through counting. This is something that can be done in 2 minutes, while sitting at your desk, riding the elevator, or walking to your car.  Take an inhale as you slowly count, 1-2-3-4, pause, then exhale as you count 1-2-3-4.  Repeat this pattern for several breaths.  Even better is to inhale to such an extent that you feel your lungs stretch - bet you don't inhale like that all day long!  Slowing and deepening your breath helps to relieve anxiety, making you feel more grounded and calm.  Focusing on your inhale and exhale also distracts your mind, if you are counting, then you aren't worrying.

Another excellent way to try out meditation is through the guided meditation apps that are available for download, (search in your App store for "guided meditation"). These apps offer short (ranging from about 5 to 20 minutes) guided meditations that walk you through relaxing your body and focusing on your breathing, all you have to do is listen.  You also have the options of music or nature sounds to accompany the voice that guides you.  After only a few minutes, you will feel calmer and more focused, and much more able to continue with whatever it is you have to do that day.

The reason I talk about these simple forms of meditation here, and why I encourage my clients to use them in my therapy practice, is because in our anxiety and stress filled lives, taking a moment to calm ourselves is more important than you may think.  When you are stressed, your brain releases a hormone called cortisol into your body.  Chronic stress, and subsequent prolonged cortisol in the body, has been shown to cause high blood pressure, trouble with concentration, suppressed immunity, and many other physiological changes.  Chronic stress has even been attributed to a shortened life span.  So while we can't avoid worry entirely, managing anxiety and stress is an important aspect of everyday health.  How's that "I don't have time" excuse sounding now??

I hope this information proves useful, and also, I am curious as to what other paths to simple meditation are out there?  What works for you??

Take care of your selves, and happy meditating!

Intro

Hello, and welcome to my new blog! 


I am a licensed marriage and family therapist-associate practicing in Austin, Texas (www.kategose.com).  In my time in the psychotherapy field (as both a therapist and a client) I have noticed an unfortunate trend.  It seems many people believe therapy to be only for a select few, as though seeing a therapist were an admission of failure, weakness, or defect.  


I, and countless others, would beg to differ.  


My hope in writing this blog is to explore another side of therapy, the side that works for the emotional well-being of anyone, everyone.  I will share information, ideas, and thoughts about the many ways in which concepts taken from the field of therapy can be applied to your everyday life.  A little bit of knowledge can go a long way.  


This blog is not meant to replace the meaningful work that can be done with a good therapist; a powerful therapeutic relationship is irreplaceable.  However, what happens in between sessions in your real, everyday life, can have a lasting impact.


I look forward to the conversations, take care!


Kate